Love Actually (2003)
Time: 2h 9mins
Director: Richard Curtis
Quick Summary: Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.
Sure, cheating is romantic. Right?
Where do I even start with this? For years people have recommended this, especially around Christmas, so I was under the assumption that this was a nice cheesy romantic comedy about various people at Christmas. I was so wrong. If someone isn't cheating, they're either thinking about cheating, trying to make someone cheat, or the person being cheated on. It's ridiculous really. How is this a feel-good film?
The issues started straight away by introducing us to almost 15 different characters. I had no time to learn about them, or even connect to them (even if they weren't the whitest cardboard cutouts I have ever seen). In fact, we were introduced to them so quickly that I thought Hugh Grant and Colin Firth were the same character. Then, we have to learn about all the various couples and their dynamics, as well as who is cheating on who with who. It's all very confusing, and really tiring as it jumps from couple to couple to couple. It's the bare bones of it all too. Because we have to go through eight different couples, we don't get to see any romances aside from the damn cheating ones.
I have no idea why they decided to show us more of the cheating parts than the actual sweet ones. I'm not kidding when I say they only focused on the cheating ones. There were actually three non-cheating ones; one I'm not even sure if they got together; the second one we saw them talking at first and then sharing a kiss after a date we didn't even get to see; then the third I'm sure was sweet but all we got to see is them not being able to understand each other because of a language different and then the dude fucking "falling in love" with her after seeing her in her underwear; of course, she is his maid too. Imagine explaining to your kids, oh yeah me and your mum met when she was my maid and did everything for me, and that's how I knew she was the one.
Rant aside, there are some funny cheesy moments that managed to keep me watching. Hugh Grant is always golden to me, that guy can do no wrong. Though, It was a bit of an odd choice to make him Prime Minster, equally, it was funny to see him dancing around the place not knowing he was being watched. A lot of British humour mixed within the cheating scenes, which cheered me up too.
But that really can't save how much I hated this. Is it supposed to be a Christmas film too? Aside from seeing Christmas trees and people talking about it, it barely felt like one. I know nothing about these characters apart from the surface level that is relevant to the plot. I mean one of the women in this is called fat when she is very very far from it. Don't even get me started on the gay relationship that is chucked in at the end, and of course, the guy is a horrible sleazy ex-meth addict.
I'd very much recommend you skip this unless you're forced into watching this with your parents at Christmas. Then it sucks to be you.
A comment from my friend Lauren who told me to watch this:
"I want back the two hours I wasted on this."
2/10
"Billy Mack: Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!"
"Jamie: You learned English?
Aurelia: Just in cases."
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