SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre: Horror/ Comedy Time: 1h 44mins Director: Tim Burton Quick Summary:  After a family tragedy, three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River. Still haunted by Beetlejuice, Lydia's life is turned upside down when her teenage daughter, Astrid, accidentally opens the portal to the Afterlife. Get yourself a man who will show as much devotion to you as Beetlejuice did for Lydia. I'll admit I was sceptical about this, being it is a sequel to a beloved film, and with how films have been recently with sequels I had good reasons. Honestly, I was surprised. I wouldn't go out of my way to say this is an amazing  sequel, but it's genuinely okay. It's fun and nostalgic, and there is nothing wrong with that if it's done well, which this has managed to do. I was so worried it was going to shove the same rehashed jokes from the first one, with the same sort of plotline. A lot of the humour is the same; pervy jokes, nods to over things, fast-talking n

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 22mins Director : Davis Doi Quick Summary:  Littlefoot, a baby dinosaur, finds out that his father is in trouble after the latter does not return home. Later, Littlefoot sets out with his friends to rescue him. I've had enough, these are dreadful. If you've read all these you've probably witnessed my burnout from them. I don't recommend watching these at all. There are two characters randomly thrown in like we already know them? I couldn't even tell you their name. Randomly there is Chomper too somehow. That isn't explained either.  These films try to trick me into thinking it's finally going to be a good one, but then I'm left even more drained than the one before it. Littlefoot's father is in danger and he needs to go save him. Cool, interesting. Wrong, we don't see him until the last twenty minutes of the film.  Everything is just worse, CGI, characters, plot. You name it. I'm not sure how they were abl

  Genre: Family/ Adventure  Time: 1h 16mins Director:  Jamie Mitchell Quick Summary:  Littlefoot learns a series of important lessons following an incident that nearly costs his grandmother her life. Soon afterwards, three dinosaurs arrive claiming they have lost their way. Imagine trying to teach kids common sense when the characters in this have no common sense. I was so ready for this to end, as it's the same as the last film where a bunch of moral lessons are shoved down your throat in the way of spoken life lessons. The CGI is even worse, so much so that the characters and the background look like separate things. I never thought this was possible but they made characters worse than Mo. These dodo-like creatures that are introduced in this are the most stupid creatures I have ever seen. I don't think they had a brain. God, they were annoying too, so much their voice annoyed me. Imagine the stereotype of a stupid character and times that by twenty. It's my own fault fo

  Genre : Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 23mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Fun takes flight with prehistoric pals Littlefoot, Cera, Petrie, Spike and Ducky in this all-new soaring adventure. Shocker that the dinosaur who looks like Petrie ( A Pterodactyl) can fly. I still wasn't paying attention to any of these films anymore, my brain had gone into mush now. Because all this film is, is moral lesson after moral lesson in the shape of adults telling the kids various life lessons, shoved down your throat. Absolutely no cute adventure or shenanigans. Honestly, there wasn't much of a story aside from trying to find out what type of dinosaur this new guy was.  Again this feels like a TV show episode they reaalllly stretched out. I don't even remember any songs. But I do remember Petrie basically fucking everything up at any point in this. 2/10

  Genre: Family/ Adventure  Time: 1h 21mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Littlefoot and his friends return in another adventure. But this time, they aren't the smallest dinosaurs in the valley...anymore. Yet again Cera's dad is racist, what a surprise. Is this supposed to be a charming trait that he hates all dinosaurs but his own? This guy even tries to kill a new race because he didn't like them There are a lot of things that happen in this and Honestly, I stopped paying full attention after the last film. My brain couldn't handle it anymore. But suddenly there were tiny dinosaurs. Like actually tiny dinosaurs. Who ends up taking the blame for something Littlefoot ended up doing, which funnily enough he never gets told off for? It's treated as a sort of good thing he did, even though he ruined food that was stored up for a special occasion for the full herd and lied about it. Sure, teach kids it's okay to lie if they think they can get away w

  Genre: Family/ Adventure  Time: 1h 25mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Littlefoot has been on many adventures before, but in this new edition to the Land Before Time series, the next adventure may change his life...forever. I will say this straight away to clear up anything. I fell asleep halfway through this and refused to watch the rest. It was the middle of the day too. The setup for this was incredible! I genuinely thought after the horror of Mo in the last film it would pick right up. Littlefoot ends up having these really bizarre dreams, which are the same ones his grandparents are having, which ends up being the urge to migrate. Honestly, that is really interesting, to think that the urge to migrate would come about like that for all Longnecks. This really got me by fooling me into a journey film with his grandparents. As soon as this is all established and they are headed on their way to the place they feel like they need to be, the rest of the group are nosey

  Genre: Family/ Adventure  Time: 1h 15mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Littlefoot befriends with a mysterious, fun-loving dolphin-like creature named Mo, who is trapped in "new water" caused by heavy rain. The gang then goes on an adventure to the "big water" to bring Mo home. I know I'm not the target audience here but please for the love of God, nobody make me listen to Mo again. I'll get the good out of the way first, as there isn't much. Surprisingly, all the characters were shaded! No more flat art. They look so much better, like Jesus it couldn't have cost much to shade the characters, could it?  As I watched more, I realised where they got the budget to shade them. Most of the background and landscape was CGI. Really bad CGI too. It just doesn't look right, you can plainly see where they just layered it underneath the character art. As well it's so painfully obviously done by a computer. Seeing as most of this film

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 16mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Snow falls in the Great Valley for the first time, puzzling and enchanting everyone. The friends search for Spike after he leaves to search for his family. Man, I was surprised to see Ducky being the bitchy one for once. This one surprised me a lot to be honest, as firstly it focuses on Ducky and Spike. Ducky acts really horrible towards Spike just because he snores at night, which to me is ridiculous. Maybe she's been getting attitude lessons from Cera. At the same Spike finally meets another Dinosaur family like him, which obviously really makes him excited and want to spend time with them. It becomes a weird cycle as Ducky gets more and more irritated with Spike spending less time with her. Honestly, it's a bit weird to me to be jealous about this, because if Spike was really family to her she would be happy he's found people to relate to. Spike is obviously oblivious to this. I don&

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 15mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  A mysterious object crashes near the great valley, and Petrie's untrustful uncle arrives in search of it, believing it to be "a storm of cold fire", a supposed rock of great powers. Thank god they got rid of the Cell animation. It looks so much better now that I assume all the animation is done on a computer. Though, that now makes room for really ugly CGI stuff. It's so out of place too because of how ugly and cheap it was back then. Whenever the dinosaurs would be interacting with whatever CGI thing, it looked so bizarre like they weren't even touching anything because they didn't even bother to put shading on it.  I did think that they were going to go in a new direction and not have any songs. I was wrong. It took until thirty minutes into the film for a song to start and I don't even remember it. After luring me into a false sense of security you'd think the s

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 17mins Director: Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary : Grandpa tells Littlefoot about their mythical hero called the Lone Dinosaur. Sarah gets two little lively cousins to take care of. Later, the kids accidentally chip the lucky Saurus Rock, and need to fix it before the bad luck hits Yeehaw. Yeah, I have no idea why they chose this to be more Western but I loved it. I'm pretty sure they recoloured everything to be slightly more orange and brown, I guess to give that Western desert feel. Funnily enough, the only song I remembered was the country song they slapped in the beginning, which admittedly I really liked. Maybe these films are getting to me.  In addition to this, we get another new character dubbed the Lone Dinosaur who is obviously created after the Lone Ranger, but I'm not complaining. Cold, distant and not open to long conversations. This guy was cool, and Littlefoot thought that too. It was so cute watching him imagine himself as th

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time : 1h 14mins Director:  Charles Grosvenor Quick Summary:  Littlefoot and his friends and the gang in their next when a swarm of leaf gobblers destroys their homes and this forces them to find a new home but yet find a mysterious island. ★。＼｜／。★ ★⋆  HAPPY 500TH REVIEW  ⋆ ★ ★。／｜＼。★ Please make the singing stop Jesus Christ. I find it hilarious how stupid these adults are. They are constantly unaware of the whereabouts of their kids, and just aimlessly stand there looking for them. In fact, they walk past them several times throughout this. I'm surprised these kids haven't died yet because of the negligence. Cera's father has reverted back to being a racist dictator, saying the longnecks would eat all the food they had scrapped together, or the spiketails would. So because of this they should all separate and go find food elsewhere. What is it with all the Dino Racism?  Somehow, the art and animation got worse. There is even a downgrade in the ba

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 14mins Director:  Roy Allen Smith Quick Summary:  When Littlefoot's grandfather falls ill, the only way to cure him is with a flower from the forbidding land of the mists, which holds unexpected perils and danger. Okay, we're actually getting back to the kids going on journeys instead of messing around in the valley.  I'll start with the songs, as I only remember one of them and you know what it's kinda sweet. Littlefoot's grandmother starts singing a song about the cycle of life and death and how important it is, and eventually, everyone has their time to go upon his grandfather falling really ill. I will praise this a lot too because it's done in a way that kids can take on board really easily without scaring them. It's gentle and soft and reminds me of the death of his mother in the first film. That has a lot more maturity to it, but this is simple and pleasant.  This puts in place the main plotline, to go find this m

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 11mins Director:  Roy Allen Smith Quick Summary:  When the water supply to the Great Valley is blocked, Littlefoot and his friends must cooperate with a group of bullies to find the reason for the cause. I understand why Cera is a little bitch now. As far as openings went for all of these, this was okay. It was simple but it put the foundations down smoothly; meteorites stop water from getting into the valley. This causes all the adult dinosaurs to panic and argue. The kids are pretty much clueless and don't get why they can't play in the lake (maybe because there is no lake anymore? Just a guess.) Though it is funny looking back on these films now, this was the start of these films ALWAYS  having some sort of climate change issue as their opening. Sort of like their go-to opening to a problem.  Because these kids feel like it's always their job to fix things, they decide to go off and find water. They actually end up being followed by

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 15mins Director:  Roy Allen Smith Quick Summary:  This time, while building a hideaway in their new home of the Great Valley, Littlefoot and the gang rescue a mysterious egg from two scheming egg-nappers and make a starling surprise - and new friend - when the egg hatches. I didn't know this was a musical and got jumped by the singing. You think I'm joking but the singing comes out of nowhere, they just randomly start singing and some really out-of-tune music plays as they're running around. It's not even that good. I mean it's a bunch of small kids singing, so of course it's not going to be amazing but this genuinely hurt my ears. Mainly because none of them could sing in tune, but the other thing is the audio quality was dreadful. This is one of the many signs the budget was dropped heavily for this first of thirteen sequels.  The other obvious sign is the massive drop in art and animation quality. It's plain to see Do

  Genre: Romance/ Comedy Time: 2h 9mins Director:  Richard Curtis Quick Summary:  Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England. Sure, cheating is romantic. Right? Where do I even start with this? For years people have recommended this, especially around Christmas, so I was under the assumption that this was a nice cheesy romantic comedy about various people at Christmas. I was so wrong. If someone isn't cheating, they're either thinking about cheating, trying to make someone cheat, or the person being cheated on. It's ridiculous really. How is this a feel-good film? The issues started straight away by introducing us to almost 15 different characters. I had no time to learn about them, or even connect to them (even if they weren't the whitest cardboard cutouts I have ever seen). In fact, we were introduced to them so quickly that

  Genre: Action/ Sci-Fi Time: 2h 13mins Director : Jon Watts Quick Summary:  Peter Parker tries to stop Adrian 'The Vulture' Toomes from selling weapons made with advanced Chitauri technology while trying to balance his life as an ordinary high school student. I got way too happy when I saw the web wings After watching nearly all the Spiderman films, I am so so glad that they didn't go through his origin story again. They skipped right into Peter Parker doing his thing, even though it was basically pining for Tony Stark's attention. We get to see him semi-action straight away, doing the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman thing. It's also pretty neat to see a more technical spidery suit with the addition of a really funny AI assistant too. I like how fun this version of Spiderman is. He's supposed to be fun, lighthearted, and a bundle of jokes because he is a teenager still. Toby Maguire had the awkwardness nailed but was too serious as Spiderman, Andrew Garfield h

  Genre: Family/ Musical  Time: 2h 20mins Director:  Robert Stevenson Quick Summary:  At the turn of the century in London, a magical nanny employs music and adventure to help two neglected children become closer to their father. Not a single brain cell in that poor boy's head. There is something so nostalgic and wonderful about this. It gives you that sense of childhood joy. Extra, full of amazing performances, brilliant group choreography on a grand scale, vibrant in all the right places and just a delightfully fun experience. I don't believe you if you say you dislike this.  The special effects for this, even though they are so pretty to watch as Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke walk through a pastel English countryside that looks like it is beautifully drawn in chalk, are actually incredibly impressive when you think about the year this was made. The technique isn't used at all now, and I do think they should go back to it, but it creates a really pleasing image to loo

  Genre: Comedy Time: 1h 25mins Director:  Ethan Coen Quick Summary:  Jamie regrets her breakup with her girlfriend, while Marian needs to relax. In search of a fresh start, they embark on an unexpected road trip to Tallahassee. Things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals. Not me excitedly shouting tiddies every five minutes. I'll admit, I had higher expectations going into this film, but I wasn't entirely disappointed. I had a lot of fun watching this one; I haven't laughed so much at a film in a while. Purely because the events were just so out there. It genuinely felt like one big skit that just kept getting added onto. It's a stripped-back, simple but dirty, buddy comedy who are lesbians. It has one of the most common buddy combos too, Jaimie who is loud, flirty, over-the-top, unapologetic, and straight-up hilarious.; and Marian who is the more quiet, reserved, level-headed of the two who is stuck with her. They don't quite bou

  Genre: Horror/ Comedy  Time: 1h 38mins Director:  Tyler MacIntyre Quick Summary:  A twist on the slasher genre, following two death-obsessed teenage girls who use their online show about real-life tragedies to send their small mid-western town into a frenzy, and cement their legacy as modern horror legends. I was distracted most of the runtime since there's a 25-year-old actor who looks way older than he is, playing a 17-year-old. This was definitely made for Netflix, or at least felt like it. This was also definitely made for tweens because it was playing it safe most of the time. It never really stood out of the box or did anything extra because it's like every other horror film that's similar to it, making it incredibly predictable. I wish they maybe, fought over something like being the more popular Killer online.  I know you're not supposed to like the main characters as they are actually the bad guys, but I really didn't like them. So, it's a pretty good

  Genre: Family/ Comedy Time: 1h 23mins Directors:  Karey Kirkpatrick, Tim Johnson Quick Summary:  A scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating...and learns a lesson about family himself. When I was a kid, I had a crush on the skunk. Genuinely, this is fun for absolutely everyone. It's so god damn fun and enjoyable to watch. So many different kinds of jokes are packed into it, aimed at both kids and adults. There is even a Citizen Kane reference scripted which to me was hilarious. Mostly though, the humour is towards kids but who cares, it's still so funny.  Somehow this tackles themes of consumerism, materialism, and the consequences of excessive consumption, all while keeping the jokes going flawlessly. For such as short film this is impressive Visually, this isn't amazing. There are a lot of empty-looking scenes or when they zoom out