Blade: Trinity (2004)

 

Genre: Action/ Horror

Time: 2h

Director: David S. Goyer

Quick Summary: Blade, now a wanted man by the FBI, must join forces with the Nightstalkers to face his most challenging enemy yet: Dracula.

I need copies of Abby's Playlists ASAP 

Also, I'm sorry but I am a sucker for cunty 2000s action films. There is just something about them that I thoroughly enjoy.

This is full of all the classic edgy action film things, quick pan and shaky zoom-ins, slow motion scenes especially with shoot-outs, pop-punk or hip-hop music with a splash of techno for nostalgia, and this strange blue overlay over everything. I love it. It screams the 2000's. 

Blade isn't the centre of this film; honestly, I missed him. He was in it, but not having him as the main role was pretty criminal. This time around he didn't feel quite right, he was no longer broody with a splash of humour, it was more moody and straight-faced more than anything. So the jokes Blade made felt really sharp and kinda mean at times but the times when you could tell he was joking it was so funny. His lines were killer at times, even if they were harsh. Blunt, serious with a bit of edge but also with a joke or two. At one point he calls Dracula a "Motherfucker" and it's brilliant.

However, this made room for Jessica Biel and Ryan Renolds, who were okay at best. Jessica was mostly put in for the "Strong female character" role that the 2000s kept feeling like they had to do. Don't get me wrong, I loved it and thought it was really fun and cool to watch her demolish a bunch of vampires, but aside from that she was just kinda there. Ryan was a mixed bag for me because of his humour. I still can't decide if I liked or hated it, as sometimes I found his jokes really funny but then groan at others. Obviously, he was there for comedic relief, which worked about 70% of the time, but then it got annoying. 

I found it hilarious that they decided to call the villain, the one and only Dracula, Drake for short. It's so unthreatening and chill. I mean, the guy is actually really unthreatening in the film anyway, like he just stands there mostly staring people down, or pretending he was going to throw a baby off a building. Even the end fight was pretty mid if it wasn't for Wesley and his sick moves, it would have sucked. 

Loved the action in this. A little bit of a hybrid between the classic Blade films and Cunty 2000s-styled martial arts with some cool weapon upgrades. The choreography is brilliant along with the camerawork, a little violet with how much it shakes at times but still fun as it ploughs through all the hectic energy and stunts. This is mostly focused on action but it doesn't trade that with no story, it's just given out in smaller lines throughout. 

Honestly, this isn't as bad as what everyone told me it was. I actually really enjoyed it, but maybe that's because I have a soft spot for films like this. The music choices were also absolutely solid, though I do miss the techno-based soundtrack of the previous two as Blade beats the living hell out of Vampires.

Never boring for a second and is pumped full of fun action, I am shocked to know people strongly dislike this one.

8/10

"Blade: Now, what's behind Door Number One?

Chief Martin Vreede: I can't tell you. They-they'll kill me.

Blade: Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better."

"[after Hannibal sends the vampire dogs plummeting out the high-rise's window]

Jarko Grimwood: Hey, dick-face. You seen my dog?

Hannibal King: Have you tried the lobby?"

"Dracula: Blade, ready to die?

Blade: I was born ready motherfucker!"

"Hannibal King: We call ourselves the Nightstalkers.

Blade: Hmm. Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon."