SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre : Romance/ Comedy Time: 1h 43mins Director:  Trish Sie Quick Summary:  A sports writer unused to relationships falls for a fling, leading her to reconsider playing the field in favour of commitment. Imagine if this girl had one female friend to help her out. I don't know how I feel about this apart from I did not enjoy it. It's supposed to be A Romcom with sports stuff involved, but all we got was the occasional sports pun or maybe they talk about sports very briefly.  There is barely any romance in it too, it all feels like lusting after people. Then lusting after someone who has their life together. Don't even get me started on the very obvious surprise romance happening in the background that wasn't supposed to be pieced together in the first 20 minutes. Now, predictability aside which can be excused given the supposed genre, most if not all the characters are so shallow and childish that it's impossible to care for anyone, especially the female lead- I s

  Genre: Superhero/ Sci-fi Time: 2h 16mins Director:  Marc Webb Quick Summary:  After Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains newfound, spider-like powers and ventures out to save the city from the machinations of a mysterious reptilian foe. I feel sorry for the kids whose introduction to Spiderman was this. As the film started and tried to give us a backstory that Peter's parents were scientists, I knew I wasn't in for a good time when they then completely brushed over everything and explained zero of the backstory. I mean, we have around 20 minutes of the film talking about them in the beginning and then nothing. Also, how Peter gets his Spidery powers felt ridiculous to me because a building like that would have a lot more security when it comes to getting in, let alone where top-secret studies are happening. His powers I was unsure of too. Sure, they were more spider-like, but it looked like he was coming down from a hard drug in the beginning; swe

  Genre: Horror/ Sci-fi Time: 2 hours Director:  Fede Álvarez Quick Summary:  While scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station, a group of young space colonists come face to face with the most terrifying life form in the universe. I feel sick. Honestly, I am a little disappointed. While this is still a very solid entry in the Alien franchise, it feels a little bit lazy in some places. I'm all for easter eggs and callbacks to the previous films, In fact, I usually really enjoy them as they are fun and good things for the long-term fans to spot the more obscure ones; except these felt directly ripped from the other films just to pad it out. There are many lines reused, which are fun I enjoyed those and they worked in the moment. But then we have near-identical shots of the Xenomorph being close to our main girl like the ionic shot from Alien 3; the pulse rifle being taught the same way as Aliens; the alien baby that looks similar to the one from Alien Resurrection which act

  Genre: Horror Time : 1h 37mins Directors:   Andy Edwards, Airell Anthony Hayles, Ludovica Musumeci, Jake West Quick Summary:  A man stumbles across a darkly magical peepshow booth. I wish this had porn acting, it would have been better than this shit I really don't have much to say about this one since I was bored instantly. It's the dark web equivalent of what 50 Shades Of Grey was for the vanilla sex enjoyer. The tamest stereotypes you could think of when it comes to "spicing it up". For something that is supposed to be an underground horror that gives us a peek into what the dark web is like, I was so bored. Everything is awful, from the acting to the sound effects. In fact, I had to show a few people how bad the sound effects were as one scene has a pistol being used and when it is cocked, it is the most stereotypical generic shotgun sound. I actually think this is the exact sound used. As for the acting, it feels like your average person discovered that rope

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 19mins Directors:  Wolfgang Reitherman, Clyde Geronimi, Hamilton Luske Quick Summary:  When a litter of Dalmatian puppies are abducted by the minions of Cruella De Vil, the owners must find them before she uses them for a diabolical fashion statement. Imagine being their neighbour  There is something so charming about watching a film simply about dogs. It's much less extravagant than its previous film, Sleeping Beauty, but it's still so much fun to watch.  The linework is definitely different, instead of bold black lines, it seems like they used pencil all the way through, which gives us a more rougher look. This is more drawn than painted and it changes the whole feel of the film. The opening actually takes us through the whole process, and to this day it's one of my favourite Disney openings, as we get to see the rough sketches, go to lineart, to colour, to animation as various spots and dogs are thrown on screen. Storywise, it's

  Genre: Family/ Fantasy  Time: 1h 15mins Directors:  Les Clark, Clyde Geronimi,   Eric Larson,  Wolfgang Reitherman Quick Summary:  After being snubbed by the royal family, a malevolent fairy places a curse on a princess which only a prince can break, along with the help of three good fairies. In my opinion, this is the prettiest Disney film. It's really slept on (pun intended). Absolutely everything you could want in a film like this in there, a brilliant opening that isn't too long and sets everything perfectly, beautiful artwork and landscape designs, as well as stunning animation, a good balance of humour and action, an adorable blossoming romance, a super tense battle between the prince which shows storm clouds, lightning, a forest of thorns, and a flame-spewing dragon. While not the most interesting, the princess herself still has her own personality and quirks. There is still humour in her. As well the prince actually says more than three lines for once. In fact, he h

  Genre: Horror/Comedy  Time: 1h 41mins Director: Zelda Williams Quick Summary:  A coming of RAGE love story about a teenager and her crush, who happens to be a corpse. After a set of horrific circumstances bring him back to life, the two embark on a journey to find love, happiness - and a few missing body parts. Freaky goth girl and her weirdo boyfriend  Honestly, I never expected Cole Sprouse to be such a good actor when he barely even spoke. You basically get an interpretation from Lisa on what he's saying but even without that you understood. The way he reacted to things was pretty funny with the addition of grunts as you could feel his frustration with communicating. But I didn't like This as much as I thought I was going to. Maybe it was because of all the hype I had seen for it before watching, I was set up for watching this amazing groundbreaking film. At best it was okay. It was fun and campy! I did have a good time watching it, but there were a lot of dull moments

  Genre: Romance/ Drama Time: 2h 20mins Director:  Tran Anh Hung Quick Summary:  The story of Eugenie, an esteemed cook, and Dodin - the fine gourmet chef she has been working for over the last 20 years. About 10 minutes into the film I realised I was incredibly hungry  Food porn. For the majority of this, it's food porn and it's glorious. Gourmet meals are made in the most aesthetically pleasing ways where you can hear every little sound. There's no music which, I thought was a little bit odd at first until I actually ended up really appreciating it because hearing all the sizzling, scrapes, sliding, and other sounds was wonderful. You get to see how much work actually goes into one dish, coming from the garden outside all the way until it's actually served. The dishes themselves are mouthwatering and extremely fancy, but look delicious.  The setting was done incredibly well too. 1889, France. All the lighting looked natural, beautiful landscapes and the interior was

  Genre: Sci-Fi/ Action Time: 2h 19mins Director:  Sam Raimi Quick Summary:  A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge. I too freak out when surrounded by noise Okay, this isn't as bad as everyone makes out. It's not good, but it's not awful. Definitely more funny than anything, and rushed in a few places. That is its main fault being rushed. If they took out maybe the new Green Goblin and the romance plot line with Mary Jane, then it would have had time to focus on Sandman and Venom. I'll get this out the way now but Mary Jane absolutely sucks in this one. I'm honestly shocked she got worse than the last film. Honestly, she's really bitchy and horrible. Like, she got with Peter after he stressed that he wouldn't always be there for her because he's literally Spiderman, and then she gets mad when he does exactly what he said. Also, she then gets ma

  Genre: Drama/ Narrative Time: 1h 38mins Director:  Ilker Çatak Quick Summary:  When one of her students is suspected of theft, teacher Carla Nowak decides to get to the bottom of the matter. Caught between her ideals and the school system, the consequences of her actions threaten to break her I'm sorry but she had evidence that very clearly narrowed it down to one person. Mostly I was frustrated by this as there wasn't a very clear ending and everyone reacts to things in the most extreme way. I commend the teacher on not losing her shit because I would have. Literally everyone but her was a bitch and extremely childish, I was actually baffled at how many of the adults were worse than the kids. Every good intention she tries it backfires and you watch as it slowly drains her.   Everyone is unlikable, even the teacher as she has her moments, but everyone has their own negative light to show their bad side. They all clash with different opinions, and people make assumptions by

  Genre: Action/ Sci-fi Time: 2h 7mins Director:  Sam Raimi Quick Summary:  Peter Parker is beset with troubles in his failing personal life as he battles a former brilliant scientist named Otto Octavius. This would have been perfect if it wasn't for Mary Jane. As a fan of Sam Rami's Evil Dead films, he really put his mark on this. There are a lot of his traits used throughout that as a fan just makes me so happy to see. Swooping shots; sped-up erratic camera movements that zoom up to things; a chainsaw; Bruce Campbell; Whip pans; a weird mix of violence and humour. He was perfect for this version of Spiderman. I love the scene just after they try to cut Doc Oc's mechanical tentacles off because it's just like watching an Evil Dead film indulged in all his trademarks, it's pretty funny. Out of the three the Tobey Maguire films, this is the most serious and emotional. There's a lot to it. Spiderman is trying to balance his life in two ways, be the superhero who

  Genre: Horror/ Thriller Time: 1h 30mins Director:  Ian Hunt-Duffy Quick Summary:  After an experimental drug trial goes awry, the test subjects face a terrifying side effect: if you fall asleep you die. Trapped in an isolated facility, panic ensues as they try to escape and somehow stay awake. Did that lady really think she was not   going to be impaled by that door? Mostly I was bored by this and was just watching it to see the end, and also it was short enough I didn't feel like I'd be wasting much time. It has an interesting premise but I don't think enough writing went into the characters because I really didn't care when any of them died. I just sort of went oh. It had plenty of set-ups, it didn't even need that much setup, I would have been happy to watch a drug experiment gone wrong and they all hallucinate. I'm actually glad they didn't go into what the drug was. This just bumbles around and pads out the film for 30 minutes so you have the illusi

  Genre: Horror/ Thriller Time: 2h 49mins Director:  Andrés Muschietti Quick Summary:  Twenty-seven years after their first encounter with the terrifying Pennywise, the Losers Club have grown up and moved away, until a devastating phone call brings them back. Through the power of friendship, they made a terrible ending It's safe to say I was pretty disappointed after watching this considering I enjoyed the first one. I knew immediately I was in for a bumpy ride when the opening was poorly done. It didn't grip me as much as the first did.  Pennywise is still creepy as hell but I actually did find him more funny this time. It was just how much his whole body would just shake and they'd treat that as a jumpscare. That and his head would just bobble around when he was talking. I was a bit hit-and-miss with his jumpscares too, mostly faulted because of the downgrade in CGI Which made him look silly more than anything. The other issue I had with the jumpscares is they were incre

  Genre: Horror/ Thriller Time: 2h 26mins Director:  Andrés Muschietti Quick Summary:  In the summer of 1989, a group of bullied kids band together to destroy a shape-shifting monster, which disguises itself as a clown and preys on the children of Derry, their small Maine town. I watched this once when I was 17 and said Pennywise wasn't scary. I take It back. That mf is creepy as hell, I was just trying to be cool. Unlike the original one, this is split into two films and focuses on the events of both them as kids and adults separately. This one is entirely them as kids, and props to the kid actors because they're excellent. You do really feel for them and want them to get through it, unlike usually I want the annoying brats to go, but this time they're so likeable and actually a little bit relatable. Especially if you were considered one of the "Loser" types of kids. There are a lot of themes of friendship, bonding through trauma and facing fears together, the

  Genre: Horror/ Drama Time: 3h 12mins Director:  Tommy Lee Wallace Quick Summary:  In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown. Tim Curry carries this. I have always remembered the first half of this one specifically more than the second half and I always assumed it was because I only watched the first half. After rewatching this I learnt that I had in fact watched the second half and it was boring as hell. I'm glad I pushed it out of my memory and can't wait to do it again. For the first half, I really enjoyed it because of the kids. They were actually kids and came across like it. Kid actors are usually not brilliant, but I actually liked pretty much all of them. Watching them run around trying to work out what to do together was so cute, even if they were being terrorised by Tim Curry. As for the second half, well oof. It's

  Genre: Action/ Comedy Time: 2h 7mins Director:  Shawn Levy Quick Summary: Deadpool is offered a place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe by the Time Variance Authority, but instead recruits a variant of Wolverine to save his universe from extinction. I'm not crying you're crying. I expected nothing less from Deadpool, only to be extra, over the top, and just fun. I was worried this film was going to be chock full of cameos or references to other films every 5 seconds, which it was. Still, it actually managed to do it in good taste whilst having an epic and emotional storyline going on. It's true to the characters and really a homage to everything that came before this. The humour has changed a bit, though there is still the classic Deadpool with sexual innuendos; crotch shots; fourth wall jokes; and all the usual obnoxious silly stuff. But, it did feel a bit toned down in some cases, which is more than likely because of Disney, but I wouldn't say it's ruined it at

  Genre: Action/ Comedy Time: 2 hours Director:   David Leitch Quick Summary:  Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (a.k.a. Deadpool) assembles a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy with abilities from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg Cable. Hey, who turned down the sex jokes? I guess they favoured more silly shengiangs and visual gags over sex jokes, but honestly I don't mind. I feel like it would have been too simular to the first one if they stuck with them. It's and easy thing to do, copying the same style of jokes from a previous film because it worked, and I'm so glad they chose to mix it up. Don't get me wrong this is deftienly still stupid and over the top. Ryan is still an absolute gem. His jokes never fail to make me laugh and I still don't think he'll get tiring while as Deadpool. He was made for this role.  It is tough to follow up something like deadpool, especially with how golden the comedy was. This manages to indeed follow

  Genre: Comedy/ Action Time: 1h 44mins Director:  Tim Miller Quick Summary:  A wisecracking mercenary gets experimented on and becomes immortal yet hideously scarred, and sets out to track down the man who ruined his looks. This got me giggling like the 12 year old boy I am  I honestly forgot how funny this actually is. I genuinely don't think there was a moment I wasn't laughing. A lot of the time it's incredibly stupid and silly, but it's so funny. From memory this was the equivalent of 12 year olds laughing at farts, BUT, it's actually 12 year olds and me laughing at sex jokes and stupid shenigans.  Most of the human is from Deadpool himself (Ryan Renolds) who just keeps on spouting every little thing that comes to mind. I'm convinced that they just let him say whatever he wanted to and went with it. Then if he wants spitballing a bunch of hilarious crap, he's doing something silly and over the top just to annoy people. Think of the class clown but as a

  Genre: Horror/ Thriller Time: 1h 44mins Director: Jordan Peele Quick Summary:  A young African-American visits his white girlfriend's parents for the weekend, where his simmering uneasiness about their reception of him eventually reaches a boiling point. I knew something was up when the dad pronounced ecosystem like “echo-system” As far as thrillers go, this is good. It has brilliant tension build-up, a creepy atmosphere, and little hints of what's going on sprinkled throughout. That said it's nowhere near being a brilliant one. For how long it takes to actually get to the meat of the twist because we have this constant theme of “creepily awkward moment where it's overly nice and happy to hide what's actually going on” flashed now and again. Which really I think is to break up how boring this film can be because in between those moments, nothing really happens.Which is why I also liked the addition of Rob, the comedic relief. His character was over the top and p