Genre: Action/ Adventure
Time: 2h 21mins
Director: Rob Marshall
Quick Summary: Jack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth, only to discover that Blackbeard and his daughter are after it too.
If I hear the theme song again, I will scream.
I'll admit I was very disappointed after being on the high of how good the last three were to find out this is nowhere as good as them. They basically got rid of everything we loved about the previous three.
Jack feels very bizarre in this one and not his usual charming bizarre, more off. His jokes don't feel funny as they used to be and they don't bode well with other characters. His usual chemistry just doesn't react with this new crew. Sure some parts were funny and got a small laugh out of me when he was bumbling around but nowhere near as much as he used to. He doesn't seem as clever or witty anymore too, just dumb luck. Don't even get me started on Barbossa, they just completely changed his character and I am mad about it.
Going onto the outfits, it's like they literally bought Halloween Pirate costumes and gave them to the actors as man, they just suck. They're so basic and just have the literal stereotypical times for pirates, I can even prove this by saying an eyepatch makes its first appearance in the entire franchise in this one. Penélope Cruz is barely wearing anything pirate themed, really it looks like her outfits could be randomly pulled out of her wardrobe.
The romance between Depp and Cruz's characters was horribly forced, and all the sweet talking and flirting was awfully written. They must have decided because there was no Will and Elizabeth, this needed some sort of romantic plot. Whoever did should have been fired. Why as well, was there an additional romance plot between a random Christian dude that Blackbeard had picked up, who suddenly goes from very dressed to half the film with no shirt, and a mermaid. There was literally nothing there between them besides, "Wow you look very pretty."
ALSO whose idea was it to play the iconic theme, six damn times throughout this. Like, guys I get this, this theme is good, but you don't need to play it every 15 minutes. Sometimes it would be playing even when nothing exciting was happening which is such a bizarre choice.
There are some things I did like about this. Like the addition of Blackbeard and his super cool ship. Do you think the Flying Dutchman looked cool? Try a gothic, black, giant, bone ship. It knocks the Flying Dutchman out of the water with style. Blackbeard, I found to be very intimidating, and his sword that could control rope and the ship was a nice touch too. As a villain, he didn't come across as unstoppable, but he seemed certainly a good challenge. Also well the Fountain of Youth was an interesting premise, and the twist that came with it, though predictable, it wasn't awful. This and a scene that involves a ton of mermaids I also really enjoyed, being one of the only fights I actually enjoyed in this.
While this isn't awful, it's difficult to get through as a fan of the first three films. I'd recommend fans to probably not watch this, but maybe I'm too harsh on this. I had many disappointments from this, you might not.
5/10
"Angelica: [Jack turns to leave] Wait! I am with child... yours.
Jack Sparrow: I don't recall that we ever had...
Angelica: You were drunk.
Jack Sparrow: I've actually never been that drunk."
"Captain Teague: I heard where you're headed. The Fountain.
Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?
Captain Teague: Does this face looks like it's been to the Fountain of Youth?
Jack Sparrow: ...Depends on the light."
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