SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre: Comedy/ Romance Time: 1h 32mins  Director:  Will Gluck Quick Summary:  When Olive lies to her best friend about losing her virginity to one of the college boys, a girl overhears their conversation. Soon, her story spreads across the entire school like wildfire. Whenever I watch a film with Emma Stone in it I am always delightfully reminded of how much of a glorious weirdo she is. Always charming and so much fun to watch, I adored her in this because of how funny she was. I do wonder if they actually gave her any lines and just let her do improv. She killed it in this and I can't actually imagine anyone else doing this role as well as she did.  As for the humour, it's so funny and not in your typical Rom-com teenage stoner humour, but actual witty clever lines of dialogue and funny moments, that for once I did not cringe at. There are moments like when Olive and her gay friend need to pretend they're having sex so they lock themselves in a room and star...

  Genre: Action/ Thriller Time: 1h 50mins Director:  Zack Snyder Quick Summary:  A young girl institutionalized by her abusive stepfather retreats to an alternative reality as a coping strategy and envisions a plan to help her escape. What the actual fuck. Who in their right mind thought this was cool let alone was okay to make a film It's gross and makes me uncomfortable. Sure lets have women, some of them looking a bit young and infantilised, barely dressed in some of the most obviously oversexualised halloween costumes, and make them be really cringey because it feels like they're just copying every single anime series ever. It's a mess. Supposedly it's the main character constantly going in and out of fantasies, but I was never sure when it began or when it changed. It flicks between multiple scenarios and this like brothel where they're even more scantly dressed. What makes this worse is the "Fantasies" are basically youtube edits with slowed down ve...

  Genre: Crime/ Action Time: 1h 32mins Director:  Nicolas Winding Refn Quick Summary:  A young man who was sentenced to seven years in prison for robbing a post office ends up spending three decades in solitary confinement. During this time, his own personality is supplanted by his alter-ego, Charles Bronson. Absolutely golden film. How have I not watched this. British classic. Hidden gem. I am amazed. Brilliant How I had never heard of this film I have no idea, I only watched this through a recommendation. This is actually amazing. It's so fun and captivating to watch, and to my surprise the main actor is Tom Hardy? I would have never guessed as he acts so well and is so unrecognisable. From the antic we see throughout, this personality would be hard to pin down or even mimic, but he's done incredible considering.  Maybe it's due to my age but I had also never heard of Charles Bronson, as he was infamous back in the 90's mainly for his shenanigans, so this was bril...

  Genre: Horror/ Comedy Time: 1h 26mins Director:  Frank Henenlotter Quick Summary:  One morning, a young man wakes to find that a small, disgusting creature has attached itself to the base of his brain stem. The creature gives him a euphoric state of happiness but demands human victims in return. This feels like a PSA for drugs or something. I wasn't sure about this film to start with as it starts with a goofy, almost slapstick energy as an old couple goes absolutely nuts destroying their apartment looking for something; I was glad to have no idea what this was about, because as soon as I knew. I hated the thing. Admittedly I found it funny occasionally, but aside from that it really put me off the film. To make it worse the film gets more and more boring and sluggish the longer it goes on. As for the beginning, I enjoyed the start of this guys "addiction" to the fluid the creature produces as we are shown multiple essentially drug trips in visual format, though the firs...

  Genre: Family/ Musical  Time: 1h 28mins Directors:  Ben Sharpsteen, Hamilton Luske, Norm Ferguson, Wilfred Jackson, Bill Roberts, Jack Kinney, T. Hee Quick Summary:  A living puppet, with the help of a cricket as his conscience, must prove himself worthy to become a real boy. I dare you to say something wrong with this film. This is so damn charming it warms my heart every single time I watch it. I remember watching this over and over again as a child just so I could see this fantastical journey all over again. Sure, there were moments that traumatised me, like the Donkey Transformation scene. But it did teach me not to be a little shit, or it would happen to me. Good old Disney. Jokes aside, this does actually teach a lot of morals, such as that it's not okay to lie because it will just get out of hand and so obvious, like your nose growing with each lie. How temptations can distract you, and how to make good choices. Something I do like as well is that it doesn'...

  Genre: Drama Time: 1h 30mins Director:  Thomas Carter Quick Summary:  Biography of Ben Carson who grew up to be Dr. Ben Carson, a world famous neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins. I forgot I was watching a film about a doctor for the first half. For real though, the first half of this film focuses on this guys childhood and man he was a dick. I never seen such an ungrateful, ignorant kid. It was genuinely hard to see how he grew up to be the kind doctor we saw in the beginning determined to do anything to save lives. Honestly though I loved we got to see this, as he goes from having nothing and having to metaphorically fight to get his way through life at the height of equal rights for black people in the 60's-70's, dumb with zero skills to this amazing knowledgeable person. Though, him as a kid feels a little unbelievable since it is so dramatic and we don't get much context unless it's fully related to him.  I know it doesn't sound that interesting, but it really is. ...

  Genre: Horror/ Mystery  Time: 1h 27mins Directors:  Thomas Guard, Charles Guard Quick Summary:  Anna returns home after a stint in a mental hospital, but her recovery is jeopardized by her father's new girlfriend and ghastly visions of her dead mother. This was fun, but underwhelming really. I found it really distracting how the main girl speaks in this sort of breathy way and trails off almost every sentence. It's not like she couldn't act; she honestly acted really well, just a strange way of speaking, like everything was incredibly dramatic. That said, I don't think anyone was an awful actor in this either considering the ending; just the characters sucked. Basically all of them had really strange motivations for why they did or were doing things, which never really got explained. As for the plot, it can't decide whether it wants to be a psychological thriller with a serial killer or a horror movie with an unidentified supernatural force being used to take re...

  Genre : Action/ Sci-Fi Time : 2 hours Director : Marco Brambilla Quick Summary : A police officer is brought out of suspended animation in prison to pursue an old ultra-violent nemesis who is loose in a non-violent future society. The way this had me hooked right up until the 1 hour 30 mark. This was fun. Like really fun. I actually really enjoyed how silly this was especially for a 90s action flick where they always tried to be serious.  A lot of the humor comes down to the wittiness of the script and the satirical comments on things. Stallone seems to be the only realistic character with his general commentary and reactions to his future, like repeated swearing even though he keeps getting fined even to the point of doing it on purpose. Bullock was someone I also really enjoyed as she was just so silly, having sort of a whimsical energy about things which was honestly really cute at times. Wesley snipes is just brilliant as always, being absolutely extra as the v...

  Genre: Family/ Fantasy  Time: 1h 23mins Directors:  David Hand, Perce Pearce, Ben Sharpsteen, Larry Morey, Wilfred Jackson, William Cottrell Quick Summary:  Exiled into the dangerous forest by her wicked stepmother, a princess is rescued by seven dwarf miners who make her part of their household. I mean I would be more freaked out than these guys if some woman broke into my house and deep cleaned it but okay. I'm not really sure how I felt about this, as on one hand it is such a classic film which i'm sure 97% of the population knows or has seen this film, but on the other it's not amazing. Honestly it's really dull which I am sad to say. Really thinking about it I barely remembered what happens let alone what anyone says. The dwarfs are really what makes this memorable with their various antics and interactions together, which is more slap-stick/ beating on each other for their various quirks, which conveniently they are named after. Doc was my own personal favou...

  Genre: Action/ Sci-fi Time: 2h 10mins Director:  George Lucas Quick Summary:  Three years into the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi pursues a new threat, while Anakin Skywalker is lured by Chancellor Palpatine into a sinister plot to rule the galaxy. Yeaaaah this slaps. I'm personally not very sure on how this film opens by chucking us straight into the action as it took me a while to actually get into it. Sure, it was interesting but I barely had any idea of what was going on. There was also these moments where there would be a fight going on, but no background music or score. Just the noises of lightsabers and people fighting, It honestly felt a little bit empty and strange to me to not have anything.  Thought that said, this has wall-to-wall action and jaw-dropping special effects (that are a bit dated but who cares). All the set up of Anakim going to the dark side that should have been in the second film is now shown in this one and is so thrilling to watch him...

  Genre: Action/ Sci-fi Time: 2h 22mins Director:  George Lucas Quick Summary:  Ten years after initially meeting, Anakin Skywalker shares a forbidden romance with Padmé Amidala, while Obi-Wan Kenobi discovers a secret clone army crafted for the Jedi. I'll pretend that those beginning scenes of padme and anakin don't exist... This was actually painful to get through I'll be honest. The sheet amount of cringe I did because of the beginning of Padmé and Anakin was just insane. I'm not sure who thought anything to do with those two were romantic, but I think they actually need to meet a woman. Anakin comes across more as a creepy stalker who gets angry if you politely say no thanks which honestly didn't help. That aside, the start of Darth Vader's origin story begins through this and it is layer and layer of various events that you can and both can not feel sympathy towards him. It's such a mess of genuine manipulation, deceit and terrible things, with Anakin...

  Genre: Family/ Sci-Fi Time: 2h 14mins Director:  George Lucas Quick Summary:  Two Jedi escape a hostile blockade to find allies and come across a young boy who may bring balance to the Force, but the long dormant Sith resurface to claim their original glory. Take a shot every time Jar Jar says "how wude" or when Anakin says "yippie". There is a lot to unpack with this one as there is a lot set out straight off the bat. I think on your first watch, with no prior knowledge of Star Wars the plot of this one is very complicated. Don't get me wrong, you can follow it pretty easily, but some parts assume you've seen the original trilogy and can be a little confusing, but mostly it tries to keep things easy to follow. That saying, I found the politics to be incredibly difficult to follow and fill in the gaps at times. This expects you to piece together things through subtly and dialogue, which is fine usually, except this film tries to also cater towards a young...

  Genre: Sci-fi/ Fantasy  Time: 1h 19 mins Director:  Shane Acker Quick Summary:  A rag doll that awakens in a postapocalyptic future holds the key to humanity's salvation. This gave me whiplash from how quick the pacing is. Nostalgia is something. I remember this film being so much better when I was a kid and was so excited to finally rewatch it as an adult. Shame to say I was so disappointed. I think my poor kid brain liked the look of this more than anything and didn't really pay attention to the actual story. It's a mess honestly. So much happened within the runtime that it made me tired halfway through. I struggled to keep up with everything that was going on as it would move on so quickly and really thinking about it they barely explained what they were doing most of the time. They would just suddenly start doing something and you had to guess what was going on. This plus there would be moments where the characters would just change their mind within seconds. ...

  Genre: Romance/ Comedy Time: 1h 44mins Directors:  Valerie Faris, Jonathan Dayton Quick Summary : A novelist struggling with writer's block finds romance in a most unusual way: by creating a female character he thinks will love him, then willing her into existence. This is what happens when an incel gets with an autistic woman. I don't personally understand the obsession with Paul Dano, I find him offputting and a bit creepy. So he was perfect for this role as this sort of narcissistic incel who desperately wants a girlfriend, but in reality, only wants the idea of her. This shows the reality of what happens when you try to control someone, to fit in with your idea of a partner and refuse to allow for their flaws. Or even allow for them to be a person.  The start is pretty whimsical and fun. We didn't actually get an explanation on how he actually brought her to life, but you can overlook that as that is not what this is about. The beginning of their romance is c...

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 40mins Director:  Mark Dindal Quick Summary:  After Garfield's unexpected reunion with his long-lost father, ragged alley cat Vic, he and his canine friend Odie are forced from their perfectly pampered lives to join Vic on a risky heist. If I see one more product placement I am going to scream. I didn't have high hopes for this film at all and only saw it because it's Garfield. It's safe to say I will not be returning to this. It just doesn't feel like Garfield, it feels off. Everything that is charming about him is gone. Most of it is down to Chris Pratt's awful monotone voice-acting and sounds too cheery for our beloved grumpy guy.  Admittedly, I had a soft spot for the animation as it reminded me of the old TV show I watched as a kid. All the same cartoonish elements were kept and it did bring out a few funny slapstick moments.  Shame this was barely funny. It had its moments where I'd laugh because it would either be...

  Genre: Crime/ Thriller Time: 2 hours Director:  Tobias Lindholm Quick Summary:  An infamous caregiver is implicated in the deaths of hundreds of hospital patients. Obvious plotline, but I was eating it right up/ This works on so many levels, while I knew what would happen from the very get-go, I was hooked the entire way through. For a film based on real-life events, I actually felt like the script reflected how normal conversations would go. It didn't feel dramatised. It keeps going at this really consistent slow pace which keeps hold of you by slowly giving you the information. Of course, none of it is a shock as it paints the picture very clearly in the opening scene, so it's more like slowly confirming the suspicion which is equally as gratifying.  The acting is excellent, with Eddie Redmayne and Jessica Chastain absolutely killing their respective roles. However, you can never go wrong with either of them. But I will say Eddie came across as very unsettling i...

  Genre: Horror/ Action Time: 2h 9mins Director : Takashi Miike Quick Summary:  As sadomasochistic yakuza enforcer Kakihara searches for his missing boss he comes across Ichi, a repressed and psychotic killer who may be able to inflict levels of pain that Kakihara has only dreamed of achieving. My friends are going to hate me on movie night I actually don't know how to talk about this film as it feels like a fever dream that I didn't want to remember. It's honestly so bizarre and I'll be honest hard to follow. A lot of the time it bounced from one thing to another, from person to person and I got lost a lot of the time.  This is most definitely not for everyone. It's full of fairly regular over-the-top violence, torture and gore. Now I'm happy to see films like that, but this is intense sometimes especially with some of the scenes that are shown, as I got a little bit uneasy. Honestly, this is one of the most brutal and gory films I have seen, and I have seen a ...

  Genre: Romance/ Comedy Time: 1h 31mins Director:  Rachel Lambert Quick Summary:  Fran, who likes to think about dying, makes the new guy at work laugh, which leads to dating and more. Now the only thing standing in their way is Fran herself. I love this film with every fibre of my being  Yes, I am autistic. This perfectly captures what it feels like to be socially awkward and a little neurospicy who enjoys her own isolation from the world and people around her. Constantly fleeing any social event she's accidentally walked into at any given chance. Enjoying her work in silence where she doesn't have to interact with anyone can be difficult when your coworkers want to get to know you. Honestly, I loved just how even though she barely spoke, we could see how she felt about things from how she subtly moved or looked at something. Also when we get moments of when she would have thoughts about dying it would drastically cut to something so over the top and dramatic it w...