SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre: Family/ Comedy Time: 2h Director: Garry Marshall Quick Summary:  Now settled in Genovia, Princess Mia faces a new revelation: she is being primed for an arranged marriage to an English suitor. While I was so happy that the previous film didn't force in a silly romance plotline, I'm admittedly really happy we have a romance in this one.  It has all the usual tween girly features most Disney-esc films do. Anne Hathaway as our independent, wise and silly heroine, Julie Andrews returning as the glamourous icon she is, and not one but two love interests. One is a slightly "Bad boy" and the sweet nice guy. Again it may have been predictable and a big ball of fluff, but what do you expect. I still love it regardless because deep down, I'm still a young girl at heart who loves all the sappy tween stuff. I am also a sucker for enemies to lovers, but I wish they were more mean to each other to begin with, not just trying to dislike each other straight away. Still...

  Genre: Family/ Comedy Time: 2h  Director:  Garry Marshall Quick Summary:  A clumsy, shy teen discovers that she's the princess of a small European state. She is then coached and must prove that she is worthy of her title while trying to make it through her school year. I was a tomboy as a kid but this was secretly my favorite film I don't care this isn't the most original or spectacular film I've seen, but it's certainly one of the most fun and sweet I've seen in a long while. It's such a safe and warm film, I genuinely loved watching this a kid. There are absolutely no hidden dirty jokes, just harmless girly stuff. Nothing too heavy either, it was such an easy watch. There's a strong cast. Hathaway put on a very good performance in the lead role of Mia, moving from shy and awkward teenager to sudden celebrity causing her to have to deal with being popular not for who she is but for what she is, to - finally - elegant princess. I always related to her ...

  Genre: Horror/ Found Footage Time: 1h 30mins Directors:  Cameron Cairnes, Colin Cairnes Quick Summary:  In 1977 a live television broadcast goes horribly wrong, unleashing evil into the nation's living rooms. Gus' fear of worms is completely justified. This is one of the most interesting watches I've had this year, but I wish it did more with what it had. It just didn't feel like we got enough information for it to be satisfying. So many things were left unanswered and open. Everything that is placed in front of you throughout the runtime is so stylistic and interesting, but they're barely talked about, let alone acknowledged any of the plotholes.  It's slow in places when it's trying to build up events or set up for the ending. The beginning had an incredible setup and overall I found this really engaging, but it lost me during the ending. It definitely was way too quick. For how slow it mostly, the ending was over in a blink and when it ended I remember...

  Genre: Horror/ Crime Time: 2h Director:  Damien Leone Quick Summary:  Art the Clown is set to unleash chaos on the unsuspecting residents of Miles County as they peacefully drift off to sleep on Christmas Eve. I'm pretty sure I had nightmares after watching this Straight away I'm going to say that if you don't like gore, even the slightest bit, do not watch this. It's torture porn but put up to the most extreme factor I've ever seen. Even for me, it was getting a little much. The guy who directed this really needs to be investigated because some of these kills were insane, and honestly a little fucked up. I had to leave these a day or two before I actually reviewed it too because, aside from the kills I was trying to work out the actual story. It doesn't give us much for the lore of Art the Clown, and it is a bit messy at times.  I do remember somewhere near the end, it suddenly jumps into a whole new area without explaining how certain people got there, or ...

  Genre: Romance/ Comedy Time: 2hours Director:  Leo McCarey Quick Summary:  Nicky and Terry meet on a cruise on their way from Europe to New York and fall in love with each other. Despite being engaged to other people, the couple decides to meet again. I've always loved old Hollywood for how they portray romance and people. They just knew the right formula. A nice mix of infatuation, hope, Sadness and trauma. The right way to do it. I wasn't too sure about the pair-up at first because they just seemed the joke about each other, which is fine but I didn't get much chemistry from that, just that they were instantly friendly. I then realized it was a bit of a slow burn between the two as they both deny they like each other that way and dodge gossiping eyes. But ironically to their dismay, they keep ending up at the same place at the same time which makes for some pretty funny moments like when they're sat next to each other in the dining hall unaware of the fact that one ...

  Genre: Crime Time: 2 hours Director : Ted Demme Quick Summary:  The story of how George Jung, along with the Medellín Cartel headed by Pablo Escobar, established the American cocaine market in the 1970s in the United States. I'm not going to lie, I got jumpscared by the picture at the end. As a fan of Goodfellas , I am honestly pretty pleased by this, probably due to how similar they are in terms of editing. The narration was mostly what I liked as I'm usually a sucker for those types of films. Voice-over narration is used to express George's feelings and thoughts throughout various events of his life, talking us through what's going on and what he plans to do, usually with some form of hectic montage. I've always enjoyed films like this because they keep it interesting and you feel some sort of personal bond towards the narrator the more you learn about their feelings and life. It's easier to connect to them.  That said, this doesn't do it the best way. ...

  Genre: Family/ Musical  Time: 2h 20mins Director:  Robert Stevenson Quick Summary:  An apprentice witch, three kids, and a cynical magician conman search for the missing component to a magic spell to be used in the defense of Britain in World War II. I've seen this film so many times growing up, and I know all of the songs. It never fails to put a smile on my face. Honestly, I'm so glad it still holds up that whimsical energy that fills you up with glee. I can understand some of the clever dialogue and the character backgrounds much better now that I'm an adult. The adults chuck witty remarks at each other (in a harmless fun way), and even the kids join in sometimes. Angela Lansbury has her own old-school charm, like the many times she tries to cast a spell and it either doesn't work or doesn't quite work, she brushes it off while still obviously irritated. Her interactions with the kids were also pretty funny, as they have jokes between them that are u...

  Genre: Family/ Sci-fi Time: 1h 40mins Director:  Simon Wincer Quick Summary:  A seemingly normal young boy is found abandoned on a mountain road and adopted by a family who are increasingly amazed by his abilities before discovering the secret behind his real identity. You know what, I liked this. It's such a safe kids film and that's a good thing! Genuine heart and morals are put into this with a cute little adventure. The '80s did produce some really good mature films for kids, and this one I guess went under the radar. This isn't anything as good as E.T. or The Neverending Story, but it's okay and watchable. All the kids were pretty adorable to watch, none of them annoyed me or got on my nerves which is a first.  As an adult who has seen many films, I did admittedly find this a little boring in places, but to my surprise, there were also epic car chase scenes with helicopters crashing into the ground which brought my attention right back. The film literall...

  Genre: Musical/ Thriller Time: 2h 18mins Director: Todd Phillips Quick Summary:  Arthur Fleck is institutionalized at Arkham, awaiting trial for his crimes as Joker. While struggling with his dual identity, Arthur not only stumbles upon true love, but also finds the music that's always been inside him. Apparently, in Arkham, nobody can go two minutes without a cigarette  I went into this knowing that people hated it, and came out understanding why. For something that is labelled as a musical, it is so afraid to be a musical. I was expecting more of a dramatic change when it came to the delusions which were usually the musical numbers aside from one or two moments. More of a contrast was needed during the more serious side of the film which would be Gritty and dark, like Gotham usually is. Compared to the delusions which I assumed were going to be more colourful, extra and extravagant. What we actually get are really long and painful segments of Arthur and/or Harley si...

  Genre: Thriller/ Romance Time: 1h 35mins Director:  Victor Sjöström Quick Summary:  Paul Beaumont, a genius scientist, is cheated by his wife, Marie, and fellow scientist, Baron. Soon, fed up with his life, he decides to take up a job at a circus in Paris as a clown. I went into this assuming it was going to be funny since the guy is a clown, but I was met with one of the saddest stories I've seen in a while. I mean the guy takes such a traumatic and terrible experience and turns it into a way that he knows how to process it. Laughter. It's such a twisted masochistic recreation of the event, but it's in his control and he can actually laugh with the crowd, so they're not just laughing at him. He remains a prisoner to himself and his internal struggle and it is all masked over by makeup and pain inflicting gags. Honestly, it's quite sad because you realise that it broke the poor guy and the only way he knows how to do anything is to be a clown to people. Repe...

  Genre: Comedy Time: 1h 20mins Director:  Ryan Martin Brown Quick Summary: Approaching the end of his twenties and his relative youth, a man decides to quit his cushy desk job and embrace life, only to realize he has no idea what to do with this newfound freedom. This was actually so painful to watch. In fact, it reminded me of those cringe Millenial TikTok humour videos. They're so unfunny it hurts me. Imagine those put into a film. I found the occasional moment funny, and by funny I mean a little chuckle came out of me. Am I supposed to find two people walking around in silence funny? Sure, when it's done right.  I think the main fault is the main guy. He was such a loser, and honestly an asshole. I found it so hard to sympathise with this guy because he was trying so hard to be seen, like a little child. Either moping around, ringing literally everyone he knows because he's bored, or playing over the top his entire band and then throwing an adult tantrum expecting pe...

  Genre: Thriller/ Drama Time: 1h 40mins Directors:  Sam H. Freeman, Ng Choon Ping Quick Summary:  Follows Jules, who is targeted in a horrific homophobic attack, destroying his life and career. Sometime after that event he encounters Preston, one of his attackers, in a gay sauna. He wants revenge. Am I supposed to feel bad for Jules? Preston was the real victim here, I was almost crying for him at the end. No seriously, by the end of this, I had no idea who to actually feel bad for. Should I feel bad for the person who got attacked or the person who got lured into a false relationship? Even if it was for the sake of revenge it's an equally horrible thing to do. Both people were terrible people. I was a little uncomfortable with how they presented the Gay Community in a slightly bad light too. It's tense from the get-go and I was internally screaming right until the end because I was terrified for both people. I barely had a minute to breathe since at any moment either p...

  Genre: Horror/ Mystery  Time: 1h 30mins Director:  Michael Mohan Quick Summary:  Cecilia, a woman of devout faith, is warmly welcomed to the picture-perfect Italian countryside where she is offered a new role at an illustrious convent. But it becomes clear to Cecilia that her new home harbors dark and horrifying secrets. So Syndey we want you to brutally scream into the camera for almost a minute straight. Make sure you stare it down too My bad for expecting a horror film about a convent to be good. Genuinely it was okay, I did enjoy watching this, but not much goes on. It's the same Religious horror imagery and imagery that most films revolve around Christianity. Also, even though one jumpscare got me really good, mostly they're cheap and basically loud noises. It's 2024 I thought we were past this. If it wasn't for the ending being so out there and insane I wouldn't have liked it as much. Cover someone in blood and get them to scream in the camera; I'm sold...

  Genre: Superhero/ Action Time: 2h 28mins Director:   Jon Watts Quick Summary:  With Spider-Man's identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear. Here's a fun fact about me: this film got me into Marvel. To this day, I still never emotionally recovered from it either. There is always something so heartbreaking about watching this Peter Parker constantly failing because of things out of his hands, no matter what he does. He's the spiderman who wants to save everyone, but can't. There are so many extreme choices he has to make throughout this and he always ends up picking the wrong one. Well, except at the end. As sad as that was, he had to make the choice he did for everyone's sake. He has is own personal troubles and constantly has to put them on hold to be a superhero, but that ends up ruining other people's lives. The poor boy can't catch a break. This guy is literally...

  Genre: Family/ Musical  Time: 1h 19mins Directors:  Wolfgang Reitherman, Clyde Geronimi, David Hand Quick Summary:  A poor boy named Arthur learns the power of love, kindness, knowledge and bravery with the help of a wizard called Merlin on the path to become one of the most beloved kings in English history. You know I'm shocked about a film about the beginning of King Arthur and Merlin for it to be so boring.  I think young kids will probably enjoy the silly antics Arthur and Merlin get up to as various animals since they're all pretty hectic and have the same formula of messing around and learning to be the animal they are, and then they are chased by a predator, so then they work together or Arthur uses his brain to work out how to get away. That's really it for most of the film. It's funny too because this starts off with the story of "the sword in the stone" and then forgets about it until the last ten minutes. Merlin himself is so relatable as an adul...

  Genre: Thriller/ Crime Time: 1h 44mins Director:  Rose Glass Quick Summary:  Gym manager Lou falls for Jackie, a bodybuilder who is passing through town en route to a competition in Las Vegas. Me after watching this Seriously though, I never really expected to find muscles attractive as I've always been against them, but this has converted me a little bit.  I did like how '80s/ almost 90's felt, as it wasn't all just generic pop culture stereotypical stuff. We get bad hair, rotting teeth, tacky clothes, and that empty kind of look that the 80's had. Mostly this is your typical crime thriller, but with roided up lesbians with guns. It's violent, erotic, and a little disappointing (I'll get to that at the end) There were a lot of things I liked about this. Genuinely this is pretty tense, a revenge drama that keeps getting more tense as things keep going wrong, but with the addition of a bodybuilder full of roid rage. All the scenes where Katy M. O'Bria...

  Genre: Action/ Sci-fi Time: 2h 10mins Director:  Jon Watts Quick Summary : Peter Parker, the beloved superhero Spider-Man, faces four destructive elemental monsters while on holiday in Europe. Soon, he receives help from Mysterio, a fellow hero with mysterious origins. I forgot how good this is The beginning made me a little nervous since the Spidey suit was painfully CGI, and it felt a bit too cutesy to be a Superhero film. But then when it really got into it, I got into it. We get to see what life is like for some people after the return of the blip, and how everyone is trying to return back to normal life. We see first-hand footage of students returning and we hear how it’s affected relationships and the lives of those left behind.  I was really impressed by Jake Gyllenhaal in this movie. His talent really brought a lot to this sequel, and his portrayal of Quentin Beck has solidified him as one of the best villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He’s a...

  Genre: Family/ Adventure Time: 1h 20mins Director:  Wolfgang Reitherman Quick Summary:  Mowgli is a young boy who has been raised by wolves. When a man-eating tiger threatens his life, his animal family tries to convince him to leave the jungle and live in the human village. "Nothing will get between us" *a woman enters the scene* Seriously, that is how the ending goes. It felt so out of nowhere and I found it more funny than anything else because of how on the nose it was. That is what this film is mostly. Funny. I was laughing at some sort of silly thing like Bagheera's over-dramatic reactions, moans, groans, faces; Baloo just being a big old goofy bear; Monkeys; and Mowgli interacting with things in the jungle. Mowgli was such a goofy little guy. I don't think there were many brain cells going on up there, but it made him so funny to watch. Pulling faces, mimicking other animals, pulling shenanigans to Kaa the Snake, and just generally mucking around. The music ...

  Genre: Horror/ Comedy Time: 1h 44mins Director: Tim Burton Quick Summary:  After a family tragedy, three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River. Still haunted by Beetlejuice, Lydia's life is turned upside down when her teenage daughter, Astrid, accidentally opens the portal to the Afterlife. Get yourself a man who will show as much devotion to you as Beetlejuice did for Lydia. I'll admit I was sceptical about this, being it is a sequel to a beloved film, and with how films have been recently with sequels I had good reasons. Honestly, I was surprised. I wouldn't go out of my way to say this is an amazing  sequel, but it's genuinely okay. It's fun and nostalgic, and there is nothing wrong with that if it's done well, which this has managed to do. I was so worried it was going to shove the same rehashed jokes from the first one, with the same sort of plotline. A lot of the humour is the same; pervy jokes, nods to over things, fast-talking n...