SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre: Musical/ Western  Time: 1h 37mins Director : David Butler Quick Summary:  The story of Calamity Jane, her saloon, and her romance with Wild Bill Hickok. I love this accidentally lesbian vibes film.  Dorris Day carries the film with her unusual, enjoyable, amusingly butch character. She plays Calamity Jane with boundless energy as she bounds across the screen doing wild stunts and extravagant expressions. She is a lot of fun to watch as she performs her musical numbers too. This has a lot of old-style humour, such as poking fun at cross-dressing and a touch of sexism. It didn't always land with me, but a good handful of the jokes I found funny, being someone open to all types of humour.  The romance takes a long while to build up, and honestly, I would have preferred if the two women ended up getting together. They learn to get along through a misunderstanding and are the polar opposites to each other, though they both learn things from the other a...

  Genre: Musical/Romance Time: 1h 47mins Directors:  George Sidney, Busby Berkeley Quick Summary:  The story of the great sharpshooter Annie Oakley, who rose to fame while dealing with her love/professional rival, Frank Butler. This is actually rather charming, it's nothing too extraordinary though. It's loud and colourful, and not afraid to be brass. It jumps from song to song, like an excited child wanting to see what's next. I personally thought only a small handful of songs were good, the rest are pretty forgettable or not that interesting. I liked the enemies-to-lovers trope that is portrayed in this, Keel and Hutton both portray headstrong characters really well. A lot of my enjoyment was watching them butt heads with each other, but then sing about how much they liked each other when in private. With the two it was a constant game of "I can do better than you." which always escalated rapidly and was always pretty cute to see them teasing each other by the ...

  Genre: Horror/Slasher Time: 1h 42mins Director:  Kim Henkel Quick Summary:  A group of teenagers get into a car crash in the Texas woods on prom night, and then wander into an old farmhouse that is home to Leatherface (Robert Jacks) and his insane family of cannibalistic psychopaths. I don't see why people hate this one so much. Don't get me wrong, it isn't anywhere near the original two, but it's still a pretty good watch.  The set-up was a bit slow, but once it gets going you realise this is actually pretty funny. It feels a little like a parody if I'm honest. The dialogue is awful and the acting is too, but I think that is what makes it funnier. I think it still had elements of the original, especially the dinner scene. It was really creepy at times, though it wasn't as disgusting, the set pieces were equally as uncomfortable. It also follows the original with there not actually being a lot of gore, and focuses more on the demented nature of the character...

  Genre: Horror/Slasher Time: 1h 26mins Director:  Jeff Burr Quick Summary:  A California couple and a survivalist encounter Leatherface and his family. This takes forever for anything to actually happen, and honestly, I don't think it was worth it when something did. For being so short, it felt like it went on way too long. This is really underwhelming compared to the others. As well it adds a bunch of new characters who aren't really explained. Also for a film titled "Leatherface", he was really boring. There wasn't much to him sadly.  Nobody really gets any development or personality either as they're just used for kills. The lighting was awful, you could barely see anything at times, not that you would really want to.  The only good point is the gore was okay, it had some pretty brutal kills, but that's it. I think this is a miss for the Texas Chainsaw Film series, as it's not really worth it. It doesn't add anything. 2/10

  Genre: Horror/ Comedy Time: 1h 40mins Director:  Tobe Hooper Quick Summary:  A radio host is victimized by the cannibal family as a former Texas Marshall hunts them. I like this one almost as much as I liked the first one as it doesn't reduce itself fully to a simple slasher. Don't get me wrong, this is as violent as the first and more.  Honestly, this is kind of bizarre, but I like it. It feels more like a dark comedy, than surreal horror. While this is funnier than the previous one, it still managed to have moments that were actually scary. This film goes into more depth into Leatherface's personality. It showed that he was capable of sympathy and other emotions and showed him as more human than what we got to see in the original which I liked, as it was missing that in the first one.  Choptop was the star aside from the final girl, as he was hilariously nuts. His dialogue was so funny and is simply amazing to watch as he hectically runs around causing...

  Genre: Horror/ Thriller Time: 1h 23mins Director:  Tobe Hooper Quick Summary:  Five friends head out to rural Texas to visit the grave of a grandfather. On the way they stumble across what appears to be a deserted house, only to discover something sinister within. Something armed with a chainsaw. An absolute classic in my books. This also brings a new meaning to scream queen with the last half an hour being pure screaming. This isn't scary in the sense of jumpscares or gore, it's scary in how creepy and weird this is. It really didn't hold back.  The set-up could have been more engaging as a few teenagers get lost on a road trip and it takes a while to really get into it, but this isn't about the story. It's about the atmosphere and the experience. The cinematography is exceptional. The colours are rich and vibrant, the blacks inky and menacing. Everything is overexposed to the extreme, the blue skies, the jade greens, the bright reds, the searing sunlight and st...

  Genre: Romance/ Drama Time: 1h 37mins Director:  Richard Ayoade Quick Summary:  15-year-old Oliver Tate has two objectives: to lose his virginity before his next birthday, and to extinguish the flame between his mother and an ex-lover who has resurfaced in her life. Honestly, this is a real gem of a film and I adore it.  It screams quirky, but in a good way and is such a delight to watch. It's incredibly funny and it's ever so charming. It's a super easy and simple watch that you'll never want to end.  The main type of humour this has is deadpan. It works so well. Craig Roberts as Oliver Tate was the main reason for this being so good as he is absolutely perfect. His voiceovers and onelines are so funny as he says them with such a casual tone even if he is talking about the world's worst things. To add to this with him acting so awkward, it gives it a perfect cherry on top for his performance. I felt like it also managed to express the feelings of being a te...

  Genre: Action Time: 1h 37mins Director:  Toshiya Fujita Quick Summary:  A strikingly beautiful young woman is trained from birth to be a deadly instrument of revenge against the swindlers who destroyed her family. I can definitely see why Kill Bill was inspired by this.  This is a very good revenge story that is done incredibly well. A young girl has the act of revenge passed down to her from her mother's deathbed, so she then proceeds to get trained in the art of kung fu. Boy, she is absolutely brutal with it too. She chops heads and slices and dices like she means it! Blood sprays out in huge amounts that honestly even though it realistically isn't possible, I loved it. And she doesn't stop no matter what.  Aside from the violence, the action was incredibly enjoyable. It doesn't really show off a lot of kung fu but this has a calm yet quick slash of a sword, rather than an extended sword fight and I think that really shows off the long build-up of ang...

  Genre: Action/ Thriller Time: 2hours Director:  Quentin Tarantino Quick Summary:  Two separate sets of voluptuous women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans. Feet. I mean. Feet. I mean. Feet. Okay jokes aside, I did enjoy this. This is a really funny parody film. Everything is supposed to be a joke. Like the purposeful mistakes in continuity, the sloppy editing and the switch between colour and black and white, as well as the facade of severely deteriorating film stock.  To be honest, nothing really happens for a long portion of the film. You just watch women talk, Quentin himself have a few drinks with them and a lot of foot shots. The dialogue is pretty boring too, everyone just talks about nothing really or it's just endless silly banter between them. The best parts of this film are slap bang in the middle and right at the end which I personally do think makes it worth watching. The...

  Genre: Action/Horror Time: 1h 45mins Director:  Robert Rodriguez Quick Summary:  After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release. I'm unsure if I should like this, but I think it's pretty good. It's awful, but good awful. This is pretty much pure over-the-top action. Explosions, mass shootings, more explosions, zombie pulverising and even more shooting with a literal gun leg, which I found absolutely hilarious.  I wasn't sure if I actually liked the acting though as it was supposed to be a homage to old B-Movies, and it made it hard to watch because I wasn't actually interested in the dialogue. It's a good film to sit back and watch the blood guts and gore explode on screen. Honestly, I didn't really care about the plot too much as it got kind of messy the longer it went on. It was full of plot holes and with how long it...

  Genre: Action/ Thriller Time: 2h 45mins Director:  Christopher Nolan Quick Summary:  Eight years after the Joker's reign of chaos, Batman is coerced out of exile with the assistance of the mysterious Selina Kyle in order to defend Gotham City from the vicious guerrilla terrorist Bane. You'd really think the third time's a charm, but not with this one. Bruce acts completely out of character in the first two movies, Catwoman's motivation and place in the story are weak, flat, and boring. For a movie that's almost three hours long, you only get about 20 minutes of Batman in costume.  Bane I could not take it seriously due to his voice. He sounded way too posh for me and was barely threatening. Honestly, he was a very boring villain, aside from the fact he is strong he doesn't have much going on. The second villain is revealed in such a poor twist. Like wow, is that it? As well during this twist a huge monologue goes on and Batman just sits there and bothers to ...

  Genre: Action/ Adventure  Time: 2h 32mins Director:  Christopher Nolan Quick Summary:  When the menace known as the Joker wreaks havoc and chaos on the people of Gotham, Batman must accept one of the greatest psychological and physical tests of his ability to fight injustice. I'll get this out first before I say anything else. This is really overrated and really average. It's just it was almost as boring as the first one. I don't really understand why a lot of people love this film, aside from Heath Ledger as the Joker as he was honestly really good in this. So much happened and yet it was still so slow. I can't really describe it. There were at least 4 different subplots that were awful to keep track of whilst almost falling asleep.  At least they had improved the cinematography a bit, as I did find myself interested in the background more than the action, which had not improved. It felt like Batman took a bit of a backseat in this one and let everyone else...

  Genre: Action/Fantasy Time: 2h 20mins Director:  Christopher Nolan Quick Summary:  After witnessing his parents' death, Bruce learns the art of fighting to confront injustice. When he returns to Gotham as Batman, he must stop a secret society that intends to destroy the city. I'm not that impressed, to be honest. It was pretty boring for a long while. This might be a hot take here but I didn't really see the need to watch the whole process of Bruce becoming Batman either. It just stretched out how boring the first half of this is.  I didn't mind the whole "Dark" aesthetic as it does fit with the tone, but this was literally too dark to see some things at times. I did like the cinematography though in the landscapes and backgrounds, or occasionally during a slow scene as we watch Batman in the shadows. Honestly, I couldn't take Christan Bale's Batman voice seriously at all. It made me laugh every single time. Who thought that was a good idea? Out of...

  Genre: Adventure Time: 1h 14mins Director:  Michel Ocelot Quick Summary:  Kirikou, an unusual little boy, must search the wisdom of the forbidden mountain in order to save his village from a spell cast by the evil sorceress Karaba I honestly do not see the appeal of this. The opening sequence was just so stupid and felt like a joke. In fact, this whole film felt like a joke.  I didn't like the animation or art, it felt cheap and unappealing to me. Though I did like the background art, I found the whole thing hard to watch with the honestly really gross-looking style.  I found the main character so annoying too, and for supposedly being a small baby he magically manages to do more than most people do in their entire life. The whole film feels very disjointed and episodic too. I found it really hard to follow. Maybe I wasn't the right type of audience for this but I did not enjoy this at all. 1/10

  Genre: Mystery/Crime Time: 1h 43mins Director:  Shane Black Quick Summary:  After being mistaken for an actor, a New York thief is sent to Hollywood to train under a private eye for a potential movie role. However, the duo are thrown together with a struggling actress into a murder mystery. I found this incredibly funny. It's quick paced which matches up wonderfully with the clever dialogue. The humour probably isn't everyone's cup of tea as it's pretty dark and sometimes offensive, but I really enjoyed it. I think some of the humour is something that dates this to the time it was made, but it doesn't affect it.  Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer are what makes this film so funny. They work with each other wonderfully, their dialogue bounces back and forward with each other like a tennis match full of witty remarks and genuinely funny commentary. I really liked Robert Downey Jr as an unreliable narrator, constantly getting mixed up with information or having to rem...