SilentLuminary Reviews

  Genre: Sci-Fi/ Adventure Time: 1h 38mins Director:  Don Taylor Quick Summary:  The world is shocked by the appearance of three talking chimpanzees, who arrived mysteriously in a U.S. spacecraft. They become the toast of society, but one man believes them to be a threat to the human race. Should have named the baby Taylor in my opinion but whatever. Let's pretend this is the sequel to the first film. Our two favourite talking apes have come to Earth as we know it. This one comes across as less dramatic and more fun and whimsical as the pair experience Earth's luxuries in a cute little montage. Honestly, I'm glad this one had more fun with it, as we really needed it after that god-awful second film.  I came to love Zira and Cornelius even more in this as their personalities come out a lot more. Their dialogue becomes more funny as they bounce jokes between each other, and funny little misunderstandings of earth's culture. Most of this film is very lighthearted, but a...

  Genre: Sci-Fi/ Adventure  Time: 1h 35mins Director:  Ted Post Quick Summary:  The sole survivor of an interplanetary rescue mission searches for the only survivor of the previous expedition. He discovers a planet ruled by apes and an underground city run by telepathic humans. What just happened? This has to have one of the most terrible, strangely cut, bizarre endings I've ever seen. Like who said this ending was okay? I feel scammed.  Anyway. This is a bit of an odd sequel. I think I was left with more questions than anything. We're introduced to a new human who can speak, who looks exactly like Tayor which wasn't confusing at all. At least he isn't much of an ass this time, but he does feel like a watered-down version of him. It goes through the same rehashed beats of the first film, "Oh my god talking monkeys.", "oh my god, a talking human." "escape from taking monkey city". So it did get a bit boring as we had basically seen this al...

  Genre: Sci-Fi/ Adventure  Time: 1h 52mins Director:  Franklin J. Schaffner Quick Summary:  An astronaut crew crash-lands on a planet where highly intelligent non-human ape species are dominant and humans are enslaved. I mean, he didn't need to be so hostile initially but okay. For how slow the start of this film is, I was unsure if I was going to like this. A good 20 minutes into the film is just these three guys crashing and landing on an unknown planet and trying to find some sort of life. They talk about why they became astronauts and then walk some more. But I'll tell you what, I was unsure but there was just something about this that kept me watching. How this managed to do this is the funky sound design and background music, it really hooks you with how frantic it is. It makes things much more tense, or risky and I think if they didn't use this, this wouldn't have been so interesting.  It was interesting to see our view on science and evolution flipped...

  Genre: Comedy/ Romance Time: 1h 59mins Directors:  Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly Quick Summary:  A man gets a chance to meet up with his dream girl from high school, even though his date with her back then was a complete disaster. I didn't hate this, but I didn't love it either. This is full of extremely dated 2000's styled humour. Making fun of mentally disabled people, body fluids and sex jokes, and a lot of bathroom humour. I laughed don't get me wrong as these are pretty good jokes and I'm still a young teen at heart, but not all of the jokes landed well. It's such a mixed bag because, some of these jokes I couldn't stop laughing at, but a lot of them I really cringed at. There's this one moment where this guy feeds a dog drugs to chill it out, but feeds it a too-high dose so the dog stops breathing, so the guy proceeds to try and bring it back to life by hitting it against things, doing wrestling moves against it, and various other silly things....

  Genre: Comedy/ Fantasy  Time: 1h 51mins Director: Brad Bird Quick Summary: A rat who can cook makes an unusual alliance with a young kitchen worker at a famous Paris restaurant. I think I watched this so many times as a kid its probably why I love to cook. There is always something so charming about pixar films. They have such a soft eye pleasing style, and this is no different except there are moments that look stylistically real. Such as during the cooking moments. They really made that food look appetising. Its almost like watching those ASMR cooking videos but with French music and a cute little rat. The colors are very lush and detailed; very accurate toward a real city-scape. This is one of those feel good films that you can't hate. Its so relaxing to watch this, even during some of the more action based scenes. Most Pixar movies actually contain very mature messages and this one is no different. It teaches kids that anyone can do anything and be from anywhere. There s...

  Genre: Horror/ Fantasy  Time: 1h 40mins Director:  Bryce McGuire Quick Summary:  A family moves into a new home, unaware that a dark secret from the house's past will unleash a malevolent force in the backyard pool. Jesus Christ that was awful. I had the unfortunate experience of sitting through this entire film. It wasn't fun at all. Not even in the bad film is so bad it's a good way. This was just bland and awful. Think of any generic possession horror movie, but in this one, the main character gets possessed by a cursed swimming pool. If they made this in the 2000's it might have been a hit.  The family consists of a dad who played baseball, a mother whose personality is nowhere to be seen, a daughter who follows in her mother's steps, and a son with the personality that he wants to be his dad.  If you want to see an even remotely good movie, see anything else. This isn't even scary when it comes to the supernatural side of things. The creatures ...

  Genre: Comedy Time: 1h 30mins Director:  Jake Johnson Quick Summary:  Given the opportunity to participate in a life-or-death reality game show, one man discovers there's a lot to live for. *disappointed* oh I think I expected more from this. This had a lot of promise as the set-up for this film was so damn good and funny. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen, Andy Samberg pulled up in a limo to this random dude and told him to get in. I was instantly hooked by this premise, but unfortunately, it struggles just after the halfway point. It has its funny moments. Jake Johnson was funny no matter what he was doing as well as Anna Kendrick. Together they were just like two awkward kids and I loved it. But I noticed as soon as we got over the initial hurdle of the set-up, they just weren't as funny. The awkwardness had vanished. The same goes for James, the homeless guy. After all the jokes were made and everyone had gotten used to him, he was just there. Which sure...