The Room (2003)

 

Genre: Drama/Romance                 Time: 1h 31mins                Director: Tommy Wiseau

Quick Summary: Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny's best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again.

What did I even just watch?

Okay so, to start this off this movie is absolutely terrible, but honestly, I really liked it. I also have no idea what it did with its $6 million budget, but it's worth noting that. 

There are endless sex scenes which keep happening, I honestly think it didn't go 20 mins without a sex scene. They are so drawn out I felt like was essentially watching a porno, and they were so cheesy it made me cringe. As well as this there were a lot of vanishing subplots that would just crop up randomly, and that's it. We'd hear nothing of them, just that it was a thing and move on. Everything is just so bizarrely thrown in I actually had no idea what the main plot was for the majority of the film.

What makes it so weird is the acting. Tommy Wiseau (Playing the main character, Johnny) has such strange mannerisms. He just moves strangely, and his face barely moves too. It's one of those things you have to see for yourself because it is just so hard to describe. Everything feels so fake, but it's unsettling like if you saw this guy in the street you'd run. Far away. Though thinking about it, he does actually remind me of an alien trying to fit into human life.

The movie tries too hard to have a clear-cut hero and a clear-cut villain in a story that isn't designed for it. I get that Lisa (The "villain") is meant to be a sociopath, but still, her portrayal lacks subtlety and depth. Also, there is no character consistency, at all. For example, Mark, Johnny’s best friend, contradicts himself in what he says and does, and no explanation is given.  

What made me love this film is the absolute goldmine of quotes I got from this film. They were all so silly, and just so bizarre I really do think they'll stick with me for a long while. I think what made it so silly is just the timing of everything, it was all very off and the tones were way out. 

This film is definitely worth watching for three primary reasons. The first one is that it will make you appreciate other films that you watched and thought were lacking in their delivery. The second reason is Tommy Wiseau’s performance, which I would say is an acquired taste. The third is the amazing quotes you will get from this film.

3/10

“It’s bullshit, I did not hit her. I did nooot. Oh hi, Mark!”

"-“Hi doggy!”

-“You’re my favourite customer.”

-“Thanks a lot, bye!”

(Literally this is the exact script line after line)

"“Chicken, Peter, you’re just a little chicken. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!”

"“Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!”"